As y'all know Homer Simpson delivers quite a lot of funny lines! Every single episode of 'The Simspons' has weird but humorous Homer Simpson quotes.
- I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. !
- Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
- Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
- How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
- You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
- Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk
- America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain... well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
- Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!
- Here's to alcohol: The source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
- Hey, I asked for ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here!
- I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t... I mean s-m-A-r-t.
- I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.
- Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers
- Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
- Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face, I don't care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!
- Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.
- Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
- Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
- Lisa, stop that racket! I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy. I think I'll need a bigger drill.
- Lisa, the mob's working on getting your saxophone back, but we've also expanded into other important areas...World domination
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