15 March 2012

Funniest Homer Simpson Quotes

As y'all know Homer Simpson delivers quite a lot of funny lines! Every single episode of 'The Simspons' has weird but humorous Homer Simpson quotes.

        So I've compiled a list of funny Homer Simpson Quotes :-

  •   I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. !                                                                                                   

  • Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

  • Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

  •  Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!

  •  How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.

  •  You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
  •  Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk

  • America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain... well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

  •  Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!

  • Here's to alcohol: The source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

  • Hey, I asked for ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here!

  • I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t... I mean s-m-A-r-t.

  • I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.

  •  Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers

  • Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

  • Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face, I don't care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!

  • Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.

  • Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

  • Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
  • Lisa, stop that racket! I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy. I think I'll need a bigger drill.

  • Lisa, the mob's working on getting your saxophone back, but we've also expanded into other important areas...World domination
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